"The weekend after Isabelle’s discharge, I take my shoes outside onto the driveway. The sky is a brilliant blue, and green tinges of leaves poke through shells of buds; the wind slips through my fleece. I scrub the spots of blood with an...
"The weekend after Isabelle’s discharge, I take my shoes outside onto the driveway. The sky is a brilliant blue, and green tinges of leaves poke through shells of buds; the wind slips through my fleece. I scrub the spots of blood with an antibacterial wipe, and tan shoe polish comes off instead, leaving the burgundy spots haloed and dark. Next, I smear shoe polish into the leather and brush away the brown curds of polish with a horsehair brush. The drops of blood remain.
All these years later, those spots are still there, and I think of Isabelle every time I wear those tan shoes. And like those marks on my shoes, memories of babies and families remain etched in my mind—stories of failures, tragedies, successes, and joys. Our patients become an inextricable part of our lives. We carry their stories with us."
Benjamin Rattray is a neonatologist.
He shares his story and discusses his KevinMD article, "Our patients become an inextricable part of our lives."
Reflect and earn 1.0 AMA PRA Category 1 CME for this episode.