I would describe it as pre-grief before death. Although the feelings may be very much the same. It's the waiting, it's the not knowing. And as I said, it's not talked about very often, so for me, it felt like, “What would happen today? Was anything gonna change? Would I have to call an ambulance? What do I have to get Bill to the hospital? Would the oxygen concentrator break, and I'd have to order a new one?” It was always that little bit in the back of my head, anticipating what might happen so that I could prevent it from getting really bad.
Nancie Wiseman Attwater is the author of A Caregiver's Love Story.
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